Girls
2004-08-22 @ 11:17 p.m.

A few posts back I discussed what I find attractive in a man. Now it's time to do the same for woman.

I've never really thought about being bi-sexual. I never considered myself bi-sexual. I'm sexually attracted to certain people. Some of those people happen to be women. I'm not sexually attracted to a great many women, however. If I had to break it down into percentages, I'd say I'm into men 85% to 90% of the time.

I'm also guilty of the faux-lesbian thing. I'll fool around with a girl if the mood is right and a guy asks me to. I enjoy it. It's fun, but it is rarely as intense for me as it is with the beautiful male of the species. I've never had a "girlfriend" and doubt I ever will. I guess I just don't like it when people put other people in a box and label it as if there are no shades of grey.

There are some women that really turn me on. They usually share the same physical and personality characteristics.

First, the physical. Lean and athletic looking girls catch my eye. I don't mean muscular as much as I mean toned. I have no idea why, but its always been that way. Breast size and looks in a girl don't matter to me. Sure, a big rack is always impressive and fun to play with, but it's hardly important. Redheads have always turned me on. Again, who knows why. If the stereotype is true about redheads (feisty), then that could be the explanation.

More importantly, is her personality. I'm attracted, sexually and otherwise, to strong, confident, self-assured women. I admire women who are not afraid of confrontation and say exactly what's on their mind, yet maintain a lovely femininity concurrent with their toughness. Kit and Stacy, two of my best friends, have those attributes. Both have very dominant personalities. There is nothing masculine about them in the slightest, yet, they don't take any crap.

In high school and college I found the 'bad girls' sexy. Those were the girls who wore a lot of denim and leather, who smoked between classes and who applied makeup with a spatula. Undearneath it all, many of them were cute, but it was the attitude that got me.

I think I'm attracted to such women because I don't share those attributes. It comes from a since of admiration and, when younger, a bit of hero worship. In college, I can remember being proud that Kit had a thing for Steve. As if that made him more desirable for me. I never minded sharing him with her. I still don't, but not because of any hero worship.

I avoid confrontation. I hate it. I don't like being nasty even when I have a right to be. I want people to like me and I sometimes avoid speaking up for myself even when I know I should. When something goes wrong, I usually blame myself. My female friends are less likely to internalize failure. For instance, when a guy breaks up with me, my first thought is, "what's wrong with me?" With Stacy and Kit it's, "What's wrong with him?" I guess I'm a wimp. But, isn't that the first step towards recovery? Admitting your own wimpiness.

Don't get me wrong. I like myself most days. I just wish I could be different from time to time.

Now, does anyone have any tips on deep throating. It's something I'd like to master but never have. I'd really like to be able to do it for Steve. My gag reflex always kicks in. There must be someone out there with a few good pointers. Steve tells me it's an awesome feeling to be deep throated and I want to add it to my repertoire.

I also made some purchases. I'm hoping Steve likes this and these.

Something else happened that holds promise. I recently spoke with a Diarylander and complimented her on the stud-stable that is ready and willing to service her. I'm so jealous of her ability to get men. Coincidentally, the night after that conversation, Steve and I went down to a local pub. It's a place we used to frequent but haven't been to in awhile. I didn't recognize anyone, not even the bartender. Steve did recognize one guy and the guy seemed to recognize Steve. As it turned out, the guy, Chris, is a cousin of one of Steve's good friends. Steve and Chris had been ushers at the cousin's wedding a few years ago.

Chris sat with us and we talked and had a very good time. Chris is tall and well built. He has blond hair with almost a buzzcut and watery blue eyes. He works construction but he'll be entering the police academy soon. Initially, he comes across very serious but soon demonstrated a great sense of humor. We talked and Steve and Chris really hit it off. After they had a few beers they began to flirt with me. That made me feel good because I wasn't all dolled up. My hair was in a ponytail and I wore jeans and a Red Sox t-shirt.

We talked about baseball, politics and a bunch of other things. Then a few hot girls came in and the guys eyed them up and down. A few rude (but funny) comments, sexual in nature, were made. After awhile I coughed and pointed out that a girl was sitting with them and always appreciated attention. So they flirted with me some more and Chris held my gaze a bit too long at one point. I excused myself and went to the bathroom.

Before we left, Chris gave Steve his phone number so they could play golf or do whatever guys do when they say they're playing golf. I snatched it away. "He'll lose it before we get to the car," I said, stuffing the number in my purse.

Later that night, during some foreplay, Steve said. "When you went to the bathroom, Chris was checking out your ass. I think he liked you."

"He's cute. And funny. Like you."

Steve began to rub my pussy and I reach for his stiff cock.

"Would you fuck him?"

"Maybe," I said. "Does that turn you on?"

He nodded and kissed me. "If I can watch," he added, between kisses. "Would you do it for me?"

"Maybe," I said, teasing him. "But I'd have to know him a lot better."

"We're playing golf next weekend."

"How does that help me get to know him?"

"You can meet us for drinks after."

So, I thought about it and said yes. Not that the thought of meeting two men who have just not worked up a sweat by slapping around a tiny ball sounded that enticing. I wish I were meeting up with them after a hockey game. I'll see what happens. Chris is a hottie. It wouldn't be awful to have another guy in my rotation.