Three Little Words
2005-06-07 @ 11:02 p.m.

This raises some serious issues now. Issues I'd rather not deal with. I love Chris, but I'm "In Love" with Steve. Chris didn't say, "I'm in love with you," but do people really talk that way? Do you look at your lover and say, "I love you" or "I'm in love with you?" I think you should say what you mean the first time such words are spoken. For clarity's sake. For chicks that overthink everything someone says. Consider it a public service. It may just have been the kind of "I love you" you say to a friend.

Perhaps I'm being hyper-technical. It could have been one of those pussy-induced declarations that are inadmissible in court. It's a little known rule, but it states that "Any statement made while your cock is in any female orifice cannot be used in open court." It hasn't been a topic of conversation so I'll see what happens. Steve did not seem concerned about it and went with the pussy-induced declaration theory.

I think I'll continue my little essays on men and women. I'm having fun with that, celebrating the differences. I don't think you can say I'm bashing men. Far from it. I've just spent a lot of time observing the differences and thinking about the stereotypes.

For instance, how many times have you heard, "men are logical, women emotional." I, for one, think I am an emotional creature. I freely admit that I cry quite easily. I also act frequently on intuition. I get good and bad vibes and run with them. When I was younger I frequently got angry with boyfriends because they lacked the ability to read my mind. Bastards! I thought, if you love me, you'd know that when I said, "Sure, I'd love to go see Slashermania II" I really meant, "I want to see anything with Leonardo DeCaprio in it."

The logical/emotional distinction is a good one, on the surface. But lets delve a bit deeper, shall we. First, it presupposes that responding to your emotions isn't logical. I think that's a false assumption. We have emotions, we try and understand where they come from and we deal with them. To me, that's a bit more logical than being a stoic and dropping dead of a heart attack at fifty.

Anecdotally, most of my girlfriends are more mature than the guys they date/married. There's a logical component to maturity. Woman might take money and pay down the credit card. A man might go out and buy toys, a new sound system, a plasma television. Fun things, but not exactly logical. I'll freely admit that guys, overall, seem to be having a hell of a time and good for them. Sometimes women do need to lighten up and take things less seriously (unless your husband took off leaving you with three children and no child support).

Also, is screaming and shouting at a televised football or baseball game logical? No. I think it's cute, but not logical. Or how about this one, girls: the guy you're dating begins to act like a real jerk. It's not his personality at all. You just know he wants to break up but he doesn't want to be the bad guy.

These are some of my experiences. Everyone is different. I think men and women can be logical at times and emotional at times. We can learn a lot from one another, even if it's just by observing.

Has anyone seen that new Red Sox visitors jersey? Not the classic dark blue. That hideous, light-red trying to be pink jersey. Teams should have fashion consultants and I'm volunteering. I'm rambling. I just got my period.