The Pipers
2006-02-15 @ 4:24 p.m.

Did you know that one of the Olsen twins, or both, have a star on the walk of fame? I remember reading an article about it and one of their fans said something like, "we've been waiting for this day forever, we don't know what took so long." I feel her pain. It's a tragedy that some have to wait until they're twenty-five to be recognized. A real crime.

So today, I'm handing out the first (and I won't say annual) Piper Awards.

This is a prestigious award, given to those blogs and diaries that are exceptional. Our international panel has reviewed each of the award winners and found them to be the best around, based upon all the latest scientific methods. Actually, I'm the judge and it's all in good fun. However, I do like sharing the works of others.

If you win you receive this nice statute and an all expense, paid hunting trip with the Vice-President.

BEST DIARY - FEMALE

What do I mean by best diary? I mean a diary-like diary: writing that chronicles the daily life of a woman. Some days are mundane, others are exciting, some days joyful, others sad. And the winners are:

Sensualistic

Sensualistic is a fine writer and spends time reviewing her days and nights, the good, the bad and the ugly. We know about her struggles and how she overcomes them and if not overcomes, deals. It's an open an honest diary. I like these diaries because we see the person faced with a problem and follow them through to the ultimate conclusion, for better or worse. The thought process, in all it's stages, is there for you to follow. You find yourself talking aloud when following these types of diaries: "No! Don't do that! or Yes, go for it." At their best, they're creative and inspiring. Sensualistic is one of the best. I'm always rooting for that gal.

Chickpea

Can't include awards for diary-like diaries and not include Chickpea. Despite their friendship, I like the contrast in styles between Sensualistic and Chickpea. Sensualistic has a cool style. I don't necessarily mean James Dean cool. I mean Cool Jazz - cool. Compare that to Chickpea's frantic, staccato like entries that are almost, but not quite, stream of consciousness. You can almost see Chickpea, thinking faster than she can type. In the end, though, it's a great diary because you feel like you know the players, you experience some of the emotions and you cheer for the lady.

The real test though is if you go back for more. I do, with both these ladies.

SEX WRITING - SEX NEWS

These are the news/information type sex sites.

Violet Blue

She's a classic. 'Nuff said.

Viviane

Fun and funny. You can always find the latest in sex news and some of the stories she finds are hysterical. There are no pretensions and it isn't littered with pornographic pictures.

SEX BLOG - MALE

Wanton Maleness

A man that writes about sex with his wife, who he clearly loves. He's also not afraid to ask questions about his sexuality and fantasize. The writing is good, never long-winded, and can be quite charming in a rugged way. I also like the fact that he writes. He doesn't just post photos. Those sites are fine. To each his own. I enjoy reading. I especially enjoy reading people who are not professional writers. There's always a diamond in the ruff out there. WM is one of them.

Ticket to Zen

A married, bi-sexual male. I don't fantasize about it. I have no inclination to see Steve do it. Yet, I find they sometimes have the best male blogs. I wonder why? Seriously, I wonder why. This one gives you a bit of everything and does it well.

Phangasm

I think I had a phangasm last week. I'm still having trouble walking. Phangasm has just been really hot lately. That's it. And sometimes that's enough on a cold winter's night.

HIP CHICK BLOG

Maybe Just Once

I think Jen's a hip chick, thoughtful, open-minded and with a good sense of humor. I always picture her in a European cafe, smoking clove cigarettes and drinking wine. I have no idea why. On occasion, her posts will flower into what I would consider literature, not mere writing. She doesn't over do it and the results are often quite lovely.

FUNNIEST BLOG

Dawn

Funny, funny, funny. Never fails to make me smile. Never long-winded and can sometimes coin new words that are a scream. She did a post about awards, not wanting to be nominated or given an award so I just had to do it. She'll see the humor in it all. Give Dawn her own radio show and she'd be a household name in two years. I'm not joking, either. Writing humor on a consistent basis is damn hard work. It may be the hardest thing to write. Don't believe me, try it.

BEST GUY BLOG

Goodbiboy

What's a guy blog, you ask? It's a blog, written by a male, that captures the essence of the American male. I think this one does. There's a jerk or two at work, the girl friend's being a bitch, drinks with friends, movies, sports, some politics. The Goodbiboy writes like the best men talk and think: if the car is blue, it's blue, not azure. If a movie sucks, it sucks, it doesn't disappoint his expectations and it sure as hell isn't derivative. That's not to say it isn't thoughtful or intelligent because it is that also. It's just not clouded with unnecessary words. He throws in some fun sex too, every now and then.

MOST INSPIRATIONAL

Kat

For me, that's Kat. I don't want to get sappy but reading about her son's cancer and seeing a mother's love is tragic and beautiful. It puts a lot in perspective.

The one thing that they all have in common is a unique voice that, after awhile, is readily identifiable.

So, thank you, all, for your words. There's a bunch more out there that I'd love to pay tribute to but I just don't have the time.