A Chris Update
2006-05-22 @ 10:09 p.m.

Lately I've felt things were 'iffy' with Chris. I was getting strange vibes. One day he'd call and talk my ear off for an hour. The next, he wouldn't give me the time of day. He's not settled with the Steve thing yet. I know it and he knows it but I don't think he's worked it out yet.

Our first anniversary together came and went last December and it never came up. I suppose that's because it's a....what? Secondary relationship? We've been dating for almost a year and a half. I can't believe it. I really thought it would be a relatively short-term thing.

So, I'm thinking things are slowing down between us. But on Friday, Chris brought me a dozen roses and took me out. He said we both missed that one year mark and it was time to celebrate. My knees were weak. A bad sign. Another bad sign? I think I'm firmly entrenched in Stage Six.

Most people go through stages in a relationship. I've always wondered if those stages are fairly universal. Or, do people have their own unique stages? Typically, mine are as follows:

Stage One - Meet, interest is aroused.

Stage Two - He makes the first move. Usually a date. Unlike most other aspects of my life, I'm hopelessly conservative when it comes to these things. He must ask me out. It's not that I don't want to make the first move, it's just the way things are.

Stage Three - The chase. Showered with attention. He wants to be with me, know things about me, etc. A fun stage.

Stage Four - The realization that you want him as much as he wants you.

Stage Five - He bags his prey.

Now we come to Stage Six, which I love and hate. Stage Six is where he (damn him) begins to intrigue me. Now, I want to know about him. Not the obvious things but the things he doesn't talk about. I recently found out that Chris is a huge fan of Russian Literature. I'm not, but that's not the point, is it? It's part of his life that has absolutely no connection to me and it intrigues me and once I'm intrigued by a man, I'm lost.

I don't want to sound like I'm uninterested in him before this stage. I'm obviously interested. But there seems to come a point in many of my relationships where I want to know more and more about his past and his life without me (work, friends etc). A point in time where I'm more intrigued by him than he is by me. It's like the chase is over and he's discovered what he would inevitably discover: she's just another girl.

Our perception of time is a funny thing. It strikes me (and I could be wrong) that the clock is reset for a man once he has you. It's like time begins again and the past becomes irrelevant. For me, I start out a relationship very much 'in the now' mindset. Yet, once the initial stages are through, my curiosity about his past increases. I want to know what made him who he is today. Sometimes I think men want to erase our past. Now I'm rambling. Time to move on.

I received some great comments on the prostate stimulation debacle. I suppose I was a bit insensitive, springing that on Steve. He's still thinking about pressing charges. Since I blew it the first time, it may be some time before I bring the subject up again. Thanks for the advice, though. Next time I'll be sure to give him written notice of my intentions, maybe wine and dine him, make him feel special.

I will say this, when his ass is on the line, that boy can really move.