Q & A
2006-08-28 @ 5:03 p.m.

I thought I'd answer a few reader questions, even if it's long overdue.

1. Junius asks: "I have to know - did either of you you introduce him to anal?"

That was a question that followed a threesome Lea and I did with our young stud, Jason. The answer is no. Jason never asked and we didn't volunteer. I almost never let a guy do that the first time. I prefer to really know someone before we get that intimate.

2. Semi-Celibate Man asks: "So, this brings up a question. Given that you've been to orgies, had DP's, and been in a situation with you and Steve's side dish at the same time: is it conceivable that you'll have a MMF threesome with Steve and Chris?"

No. I do not think so. Although Steve would be more open-minded about that and would probably consider it, Chris would be completely freaked out by the very idea. Steve's a Bohemian at heart. Chris is far more buttoned-down and corporate. It's one of the things I like about Chris. The situation with me, Steve and Helene didn't turn out so well either. Some bad Mo-Jo there.

3. Semi-Celibate Man asks, "Do you and Kit tell each other the details after the fact? Did you tell or describe for her how Luke was? Did it get her hot?"

Kit and I do talk, sometimes, after we've shared partners. It doesn't get either one of us hot, when we talk. We mostly giggle at some of Luke or Steve's quirks. What the might have said in the heat of the moment, that 'face' Luke makes. We don't talk in front of anyone else, however, about those things. It's just girl talk.

4. Raven jokingly asks "I wonder what the correct etiquette is for asking a girl if she wants DP?"
Certified letter, maybe. Seriously, I've only done that a few times. Each time, with one exception, was enjoyable. I asked for it once. The other times it just sort of happened. Lets face it, given the logistics, a girl has plenty of warning if she might be fighting a two-front war and plenty of time to put the brakes on.

5. What makes a male a bad lover? What makes you just automatically categorize a guy as "no way"?

It sounds cliche, but generosity in bed is a major part of being a good lover, male or female. Also, it helps if they live where there's good twenty-four hour take-out. If someone is selfish in bed it goes a long way to making them a bad lover. The female wants to climax and the male wants to climax. It usually takes us longer and we sometimes operate at a different pace than comes natural to many males. I've always said that I enjoy a good hair pull and smack on the ass, but I also enjoy long, slow foreplay, kissing, touching, talking and the like. If a man is selfish outside the bedroom chances are he's selfish inside the bedroom.

Sex is about two people (most of the time). If all the guy wants to do is bang the girl hard for a few minutes and orgasm, he should use his hand. That's what it amounts to anyway. A rude, selfish, quickie is really nothing more than masturbation with a pussy instead of a hand.

An automatic 'No'? Bad hygiene, yellow teeth, bad breath. Guys with 'candy corn' teeth need not apply. That's a 'No'. For me, though, it almost always comes down to personality, especially in a long term relationship. I like self-assured, self-confident men. If that spills over and becomes obnoxious bragging, I'm turned off.

I'm a sucker for the strong, silent type. I'll take Gary Cooper over the 'sensitive' male every time. The silent types also almost always appear to be listening to you, whether they are or not. So, that's a plus. The strong, silent type can be sensitive, but I'll be frank. I find men that cry too easily wimpy. I don't like it and I always wonder what they'll be like in a crisis.

That's my post and I'm sticking to it.