Chase
2006-09-20 @ 9:35 a.m.

Steve broke it off with Helene some time ago. What I did not mention was that about the same time, Steve went to a swinger party without me. I did not feel like attending so he went with Stacy. I had actually wanted him to stay with me that night. I hadn't been feeling well and just wanted someone there. Of course, in true female fashion, I didn't tell him that. I expected Steve to read my mind, all the while telling him, "I don't mind if you go. Go and have fun."

While there, he met someone. They didn't have sex but they did talk a lot. They started seeing one another. It's been about five weeks now.

When Steve told me this, I figured it was just another 'Helene'. A side-fuck. Come to find out, I know the girl Steve is now seeing. He knew I knew her and made sure to tell me that straight away. He even said that he'd stop seeing her if I asked him.

Chase and I grew up in the same neighborhood, I went to school with her older sister and our families belonged to the same club (God, that sounded snobby). I was friendly with her older sister but I always liked Chase, who is a few years younger than me.

Steve and Chase see each other about once a week. She's becoming his Chris. At first I was apprehensive for many reasons. Ironically, my feelings for Chris are one of those reasons. I worry that Steve may fall into the same trap, caring for two women and dealing with the confusion that generates.

A few nights ago, we all met for drinks after work. Chase brought her friend, a guy named Alex. Alex accompanies Chase to various swinger parties. I could not catch any vibe that they were more than friends. Anyway, he was nice. Cute even. No, nothing happened.

A night that began with apprehension turned out to be fantastic. We stayed out later than we should have and all of us had a great time. Chase and I ended up talking for hours, catching up on old neighborhood gossip etc. She's really great. She's done the swing-thing for about a year now. She also knows about the diary, has read it, likes it and thought it would be cool if I chronicled her relationship with Steve.

Another thing that bothers me though (makes me curious is better) is that Chase looks a lot like me. Or, I should say, we're of a type. Facial features are different but she is also a brunette, slightly taller but we're the same size. From the back, you probably wouldn't know who was who. Interesting, no?

I do like her. She doesn't bother me, like Helene did. She's funny, smart and articulate. Frankly, she's too good for Steve. She is someone I'd consider letting into our circle. We'll have to see. I've never really formed a relationship with any of Steve's side dishes. I find the idea threatening and comforting at the same time. I'm not sure if I should do it and if I do, I'm not sure how to go about it.

A question now: Do you have a physical type that you like? If so, share. I'll start. Dark hair, fairly muscular but not a body builder. Five o'clock shadow is sexy but real facial hair is not. Rugged, not pretty. People always mention eye color or "the eyes." Eyes are great, especially if he has two and they're lined-up properly. You know what can be great? The smile. I like that cocky, half-smile some guys have. That's my generic type.