Love and Like
2006-11-10 @ 10:10 p.m.

It's Friday and I'm home alone. That's out of choice. I just wanted some me time. Some time to lounge around, stay up late and not worry about getting up for work. I'm getting addicted to these quiet night at home. A little tea, some books, a few good movies, a crackling fireplace....the recluse in me is coming out.

Anyway, I thought I'd write tonight.

Have you ever loved someone (as opposed to being 'in love') but not really liked them? Sometimes the great passions in our life are not our greatest loves, or even likes. The older I get, the more I find that loving someone is relatively easy. It's liking them that can be tough. Liking them on a day-to-day basis. Liking them enough to spend a considerable amount of time with them. Liking them enough to want to see their face day in and day out.

Now, on to the sex. My relationship with Luke is complicated. I've known him since college and he, Kit, Steve and I have been swing partners for years now. Luke would do just about anything for me and a long time ago helped me out of a potentially dangerous predicament.

It was during college. I was at a bar. I left the bar and two guys approached me. They were drunk and they started the cat calls. Then they blocked my way. I'm not sure if they were actually dangerous but it was scary. By mere coincidence, Luke was walking to the bar, saw me and drove the men off. Needless to say, I've been grateful ever since and have in many ways viewed him like a protector. He's always taken a somewhat proprietary interest in my safety since that night.

I have helped him out on a number of occasions. I stopped by his place one day to return something and he was in excrutiating pain. Ultimately, we found out his appendix had burst. The ER doc told me that if I hadn't found him, he could have died. Another chance encounter.

So, we have some history that most friends don't share. The strange part is, we don't really like each other. Our everyday personalities don't really mesh. He can be cold and arrogant. We became friends through other friends. It's the way of the world that you end up collecting a variety of people throughout your life. The genesis of the friendship is based upon circumstances that do not always remain relevant later in life but the relationship continues.

We've had our clashes. I've referred to him as an asshole on more than one occasion. He's called me a bitch on more than one occasion. He can definitely be an asshole and I have been known to act out from time to time. He's not a solo friend. He's a group friend, someone you hang with as long as other people are around. We do find each other physically attractive.

Then how come when Luke and I have sex - I should say when we fuck because that better describes the act - it's so damn hot! How can you be so bed-compatible with someone you do not really like? Have you had that experience? Sex with him isn't exactly fun or passionate. Sex with Luke is raw and intense. It's an extreme rush. But then you crash.

So, is there some correlation between physical attraction, a personality clash and intense sex? I do not think it's an opposite's attract scenario. Maybe it's punishing someone with pleasure.

Anyway, Steve did get his birthday treat. I'll talk about that next week. I really wasn't in the mood to discuss it tonight.

Here, however, is a pic for you. Back in October, Steve and I took a walk through the back portion of my Grandfather's property. It was a beautiful fall day and perfect for a stroll down a New England country lane. Somehow, he convinced me to drop my pants.

I thought I'd share, as I thought they didn't come out too tasteless.