My Four Footer
2007-02-04 @ 12:18 p.m.

You may ask yourself, what's up with the title of this post? What's a 'four footer?'

Frankly, I didn't know until a few nights ago.

Chris came over. It had been two weeks since we had any quality-time together. His schedule is simply the worst. On the other hand, if Chris did have a normal schedule, our relationship might not have lasted so long.

I made dinner for him, we talked, watched some television and then moved to the bedroom.

Chris had initially been very tired but once we started he was feral. He was like Lon Chaney, turning into a real animal, sans the fur (although he may have howled once or twice). I don't think the Moon was full.

Chris ended up on top. He proceeded to jack hammer me. What's that? It's my description of the following: Man on top, showing unbelievable endurance at a high rate of speed. It's generally accompanied by that hot/funny skin-slapping-skin sound.

When the jack-hammering ended, we both collapsed for a few minutes. I so very much wanted to drift off to sleep but needed to pee (as I always do, after a good jack hammer).

The bedroom was dark, I was sleepy. You should know that I have hardwood floors in my bedroom. Well, I got up, took a step and slammed my knee into my armoire, which shouldn't have been there.

I switched on the lamp and saw that the bed had drifted a good four feet during the course of our love making. I started laughing, nudged Chris and made him get up so we could re-position the bed. It was very funny. I've had beds move on me, but usually only a few inches.

That episode made me think about the funny things that happen during sex. They may not be terribly funny when they occur, but later on, you just have to laugh.

Once, while in college, a guy was eating my pussy. Not dainty, little licks like some guys. No, he was really going down on me. He kept mumbling something everytime he came up for air.

"What?" I kept asking him.

Finally, he says, "I love your stench."

I sat up, totally embarrassed. "What? Oh, my god."

He was very confused. "I love your stench. The way your pussy smells. Your....scent."

Selflessly thinking of his next poor victim, I gently explained that 'scent' was fine but that 'stench' meant that a smell had a repugnant quality. This may have been the same young man that thought a thesaurus was a dinosaur.

The other funny event, which I already wrote about was the time I was giving Chad a blowjob. His Mother called his cell phone. I kept going down on him and she wouldn't get off the phone. The call ended and we both started laughing. I began blowing him again and right when he started to cum, his cell rang again. He started laughing and I started laughing but I had a load of cum in my mouth. Of course, I started thinking about what happens when you have liquid in your mouth and you can't stop laughing. The thought of cum coming out of my nose didn't help matters.