Crime & Punishment
2007-03-09 @ 10:43 p.m.

About three weeks ago, Chris invited me to his friend's wedding. The wedding was last Saturday night. We were going to stay at a hotel with some of his other friends etc. It had all the makings of a fun weekend. Of course, I accepted. I love weddings and never turn down an invitation. Besides a great time, I feel like I'm auditioning the wedding dress, bridesmaid's gowns and reception hall for my own (in theory) big day.

Early last week, Chris was over. We hadn't spent much time together because of scheduling difficulties. I made him dinner, we talked....hit the bedroom. The sex was fantastic. He even got his second round of back door action, which he loved. He was much better at anal this time around. A bit less hesitant and at the same time more controlled.

I digress. Afterwords, instead of cuddling, he starts in with the questions. I can live with the questions, but not his sort-of-but-not-really-a-question questions. Out of the blue, he asks me if I'm seeing anyone else.

I just looked at him, one eye brow raised.

"Besides Steve," he asked.

"No. No one. The two of you are exasperating enough.

He sat silent for a minute, so I asked what was wrong.

"Have you slept with anyone else?"

"Ever?" I asked.

He pulled away from me. "How about in the past year?"

I got up to put my pajamas on and to stall for a minute.

"Yes," I said.

"How many?" He wanted to know but didn't. Now, being an awful liar has it's advantages but it also has it's downside as well.

If our nations recent political discourse has taught me one thing, it's how to not answer questions and to deflect them as well.

"How about you?" I asked.

"How many?" Chris responded.

"I take it that that's a yes."

He got up and went to get a drink. He was gone for at least twenty minutes. I laid down, turned out the light and closed my eyes. When Chris returned, he was geared up for another round.

I turned over and faced him when he got into bed. "You have and I have," I said. "Let's just leave it at that."

Chris persisted, wanting a number. With men, sex always leaves the realm of biology and proceeds into the realm of math. "Three or four," I said, having summoned-up some courage.

He recoiled from my conciliatory touch. "How about you," I asked. "Fair's fair."

"Two," he replied. "Just two. And we obviously aren't exclusive so...." He was hurt and angry. "Were you going to tell me?"

"If you had asked," I replied. Chris was pissed off and having trouble controlling himself. Not that I felt endangered for even an instant. "You weren't exactly forthcoming."

That's when he got up, began to dress and called me a slut. It was said under his breath, like his inner monologue accidentally escaped. I simply rolled over and quietly began to cry. It was not something I wanted to hear. Not from him, not after sex and especially not after letting him take me in the ass.

He left. It was 2:20 AM. Think I slept?

In all fairness, he did call the next day. We met, talked and I won't bore you with the details. He apologized about twenty times. When we parted, things were better. Not back to normal, but I left with the justifiable feeling that we could reach an accord we could both live with. He reiterated that he loved me and I think he almost cried.

We spoke on the phone the the next day and had a great conversation. Chris mentioned the wedding. His enthusiasm made me excited to be going out on Saturday....with him. An actual date! With dinner and dancing, if I could get him to dance.

I left work early last Friday. I was really looking forward to the wedding and seeing Chris, hoping things could return to the way they had been, or at least move in that direction. I decided to buy a new dress to wow Chris: to look pretty for him.

I couldn't find the actual dress on-line but here's a close approximation. Mine wasn't quite as low-cut and it was black. But forgive me for thinking I would look hot in that little number.

Needless to say, I didn't hear from Chris on Friday. On Saturday, I didn't think much about not hearing from him until the afternoon. Nothing. The wedding was at 6:00PM and by 3:00PM I called him and left a message. An hour later a tried his cell phone. Nothing. I contemplated getting ready anyway, thinking he might have been called into work or something but the picture in my head, of me in my new dress, waiting as the clock ticked away, was too Lifetime/Oxygen movie for me. Way too pathetic. So I did what any self-respecting girl would do: cried.

This is long enough, so I'll sum up. He did call, on Sunday. I calmly asked about being stood-up. He sounded shocked and was apologetic and insisted we hadn't firmed-up the plans. I know something else that won't be firmed-up for a while.

I figured out that I was being punished. Not for sleeping with another man. Chris acted like a baby, true, but he's not a hypocrite. After all, he stepped out as well. I think I was punished for having a higher tally than Chris. If I had slept with fewer men than he did women, I think I may have danced Saturday night.

So it's Friday night, Steve out of town for work and me....just sitting at home.

I guess that's why God made cats, Ben & Jerry's and Steel Magnolias.