Strings Attached
2007-12-10 @ 1:05 p.m.

One event will be a gala and that's very exciting. It will give me a chance to play dress-up. Steve's supposed to have his tuxedo cleaned but I think it's still hanging in his closet. One more thing I'll have to do. Still, he'll look terrific. He cleans up nicely.

It seems that all of the men in my life are manstrating again. This has happened before. Bad moods all around. It's not limited to Steve or Chris, either. My father and my brother were in a mood as well, last week.

So, since I have nothing, I thought of sharing some posts from two of my favorites.

My good friend, Wanton Maleness, has satisfied a longstanding curiosity. Or maybe it's not satisfied and he desires more. Anyway, WM has dipped his toes, or dipped something at any rate, into the bi-sexual pool.

The move from curious to action is a big one. People have different reactions. Some find no significance in being with a member of the same sex. Others go into a tailspin of self- indulgent, self-analysis that borders on neurotic.

That's not to say it's a minor event. I suspect that for most, especially men, it's a major event. My own experience probably falls somewhere in the middle of the reaction spectrum. The first time I slept with a girl, as opposed to inebriated, faux-lesbian kissing, resulted in weeks of trying on a variety of labels as if they were so many dresses or gowns.

For me, it was an unnecessary and fruitless exercise. The kind of exercise sociology, psychology or theology graduate students might enjoy. Or, god-forbid, turn into a thesis. My same-sex experiences have been mostly, if not exclusively, in a swing, threesome, context. In that sense, the girl invited into our relationship (Steve and me) is not unlike....

I have to approach this with some sensitivity. Steve and I treat both the men and women that have joined us with the utmost respect and sensitivity. We do so because it's the right thing to do and it's how we expect to be treated. Most, if not all, are considered friends. In the bedroom though, the third person is part of our sex life. I've never wanted a romantic relationship with another woman and frankly, but for Steve, I might never have sex with another woman. My biggest turn-on is turning on Steve. Sometimes that means inviting another woman into my bed, sometimes another man. Sometimes a naughty piece of lingerie might do the trick. I think it would be a disservice to lesbians and homosexuals, who have constructed intense, emotional, mature long-term relationships to label my involvement with women - lesbian or bi-sexual.

I can speak from experience having been the "third wheel" a number of times. No matter how well you're treated there comes a point after the fucking when the couple wants you to leave. You're no longer needed. It sounds crude but all sex toys end up in the drawer.

Which may very well dove-tail with this post from Tom Paine on the inequity in the male/slut ratio.

Humans are animals and as such have certain biological imperatives. A woman's sole biological function is to carry babies (note, I said sole biological function). A man's? To impregnate women. These imperatives seem hardwired into us despite the fact that we live in an age where the imperative is....less imperative. It's leftover from the days when our survival as a species was touch-and-go.

I suspect those hardwired imperatives still call out to most of us. Not all, but most. That call may now come from a distant room and it may be faint, but it's there for many.

Not too long ago, carrying a baby to term meant that a woman needed a man for protection, shelter etc. We needed that relationship to help fulfill our biological function. Perhaps that's one reason the female attitude towards sex differs from the male. Our sex drives may not differ but our attitudes towards sex do differ.

Some folks may try and tell us that men and women are the same. Experience has taught me differently.

I have seldom engaged in 'the lifestyle" outside the confines of a relationship. My guess is that most women don't. That's anecdotal, of course, and I could be wrong but....there are almost always 'strings attached' in sex, even if those strings are thin and delicate. A sexual Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos, if you will.

That's enough rambling for now.